Don’t interrupt a person while they’re speaking. People don’t like being cut off. Always let them finish what they’re saying. Of course, still answer questions if the person asks them. But don’t just look for the next time you can start talking about yourself again. Allow other people to talk.
Don’t just ask superficial questions. Demonstrate that you were listening by asking questions based on what they person was saying. For example, if someone is telling you about their vacation and mention they got a flat tire, say, “Wow, how did you fix the tire?” This shows that you’re not only interested, but were paying attention to the story.
If you do have to check your phone, excuse yourself and say, “Sorry, I have to check this for one second. ” If you are actually busy and don’t have time to talk, be polite about it. Say, “I’d love to talk some more but I have a work call to make. I’ll see you later. ”
People sometimes get shy when you compliment them. If they say something like, “Oh, it’s no big deal,” you can follow up with, “Well just know I’m happy for you. ” This maintains the personal connection with the other person without making them uncomfortable.
A coworker might say that you offered a great idea in the meeting today. You could respond, “Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. With your skills I’m sure you can pull it off. ”
You can still voice your disagreement without being hostile. Just simply saying, “That’s not the way I see it, but I get your point,” shows that you disagree but also gives the other person credit. If you want to avoid confrontation altogether, you can just ignore their opinion and try to steer the conversation elsewhere.
Ask about these details too. Someone might tell you on Friday that they’re going to a concert over the weekend. If you see them on Monday, ask how the concert was. This shows you were listening and that you care about them. If you have trouble remembering things, try doing some exercises to improve your memory.
If someone tells you a story about something unexpected happening, widen your eyes and make a shocked face. They’ll feel like you’re completely invested in the story. You can also do this when you aren’t directly having a conversation with someone. If a coworker is giving a presentation in a conference room, look at them while they speak. Nod along when they make a good point, and take notes. These all make the person speaking feel important and they will appreciate it.
Don’t continue complimenting the person after they’ve already acknowledged your compliment. If they say thank you, don’t say, “No but really, you did a great job. ” This could come off as fake.
This doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. You might be giving a presentation and say, “I’d like to thank John for doing a great job on these figures here. ” This quick statement gives John credit without dwelling on the matter. However, if someone asks you to keep something quiet, respect their wishes. They may want to be the one to tell a certain person or might just be shy about it.
Personal thank-you’s work as well. Try to find the person and thank them. Saying, “I just wanted to drop by and say thanks for that favor you did,” shows that you went out of your way for them. If you can’t find the person, a thankful phone call is great too.
This is a good situation where thinking about the Golden Rule helps. Would you like someone spreading rumors about you? Probably not. So don’t spread rumors about others.
Think about if you were talking to someone and you made fun of them for liking a certain band. Would you be happy if someone did that to you? Probably not. Reconsider your actions and apologize.
Whenever you greet people, smile as you say hello. This is an easy way to spread more positive feelings. Don’t try to make your smile as wide as you can. This will look fake. Just slightly turning the corners of your lips up makes you look bright naturally.
Remember that having a sense of humor isn’t just about telling jokes. It’s more about keeping a lighthearted mood about things. If something negative happens, try to find a bright side in it. Be the person that stays optimistic when other people are feeling down. Always know the limits for your humor, however. Don’t tell inappropriate jokes. If people don’t seem amused by your antics, tone it down.
