A smiling person is more likely to be regarded as viewed as attractive, reliable, relaxed and sincere. [2] X Research source Cheering yourself up by cheering others is a hallmark of how to have a good life. [3] X Research source
Taking time to listen to another person’s problems is a great way to help others. Many times, people who are struggling simply need to be able to share their situation with a friend. By taking the time to listen, you are helping whether you can solve their situation or not. The Dalai Lama has said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ”[5] X Research source Putting your attention on another person, rather than yourself, is a common practice of living well with others.
Taking responsibility for your own actions is an important discipline to develop. There may be many circumstances beyond your control, but focusing on these won’t help you develop the ability to make changes in your own life that may benefit you. Accept the things you can’t change; change what you can. Letting go of resentments towards others is an essential part of the good life. It has been well-said that a resentment is “like taking poison, expecting the other person to die. “[6] X Research source Resentments erode the quality of your own life, damaging relationships with those around you. Others may not always agree with you. This doesn’t mean that you are wrong, or that the other person is wrong. It simply means that you have two different ideas on the same topic - and that’s okay.
Telling the truth, judiciously, is a habit of people who have good lives. Many times, people try to pretend they’re telling the truth about others when instead they’re engaging in gossip. The attention you receive when you share gossip may feel good, for a short time. However, in the long run, gossip erodes healthy relationships between you and those around you. [8] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Before you act, consider, “Is this something that I would want another person saying about me, or doing to me?” If not, reconsider your actions.
Let friends and family know that you care about them by spending time with them, calling them regularly, and doing things together. Friendship doesn’t rely upon proximity, however. Even friends cultivated online have a positive effect on one’s quality of life. [10] X Research source People with stronger social networks have stronger immune systems, get fewer colds, report less stress, and have overall higher quality of life for reasons that aren’t yet known. [11] X Research source
When something is going wrong, look to your part. Avoid shifting the blame to others. Other people won’t like it, and you won’t learn anything. Talk to people you trust about your situation. Many times, a good friend will have insights into your motives that you yourself cannot discern.
Make a list of qualities you would like to emulate in your life. Then, make a list of ways you can practice using these qualities in your daily life. Aristotle wrote, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not a virtue, but a habit. “[12] X Research source If you want to be a kind person, do kind things. Learning to be honest about what you want is a difficult practice. Many people prevent themselves from having a good life by overemphasizing the things that they want but don’t feel they can have because of other life circumstances - such as finances, family obligations, economic pressures, etc. This only perpetuates the myth that the person is a victim, a belief that is corrosive to happiness at all levels. If you don’t know the big things of what you want out of life, start with smaller choices. Developing a sense of control and power over what you have in your life is essential to having a good life. [13] X Research source
Seeing your fears in writing will sometimes help you realize how useless it is to worry about things that aren’t within your control. Sometimes a fear will be based in circumstances that are no longer present. Many people develop fears in childhood, when much was beyond their conscious control. But as an adult, the person has more autonomy and more power over their choices. By becoming more aware of the fears that drive your behavior, you can make more conscious decisions about the actions you take.
Self-acceptance is a discipline of honesty. It means that the person isn’t denying their actions or inactions, or their consequences. [16] X Research source Self-acceptance is a practice of self-care. Much like any other expression of self-care, accepting yourself is a practice that must be consciously learned, and relearned as your characteristics change over time.
Notice when you are worried about the future, or regretting the past. Turn your attention to your breath. Count 10 breaths. Even as simple an exercise in mindfulness as this one can start to show positive effects in your life, when practiced over time. Cultivate daily habits, rather than setting distant goals. For instance, include exercise every day, rather than deciding to complete a triathlon in a month’s time. Rather than deciding to lose 20 pounds, make a decision to eat healthily today. If you do decide to set a goal, break it down into manageable daily decisions.
Making a list of things that you are grateful for, no matter how large or small, is one way that people actively cultivate gratitude in their daily lives. Some people keep a gratitude journal, following the old adage to “count your blessings. " Others include a list of things that they’re thankful for in daily prayers or meditations. Posting photos, images, or written reminders of gratitude around your home is another way to remind yourself to be thankful.
Thank you notes can be written for any occasion, large or small. A thank you note can be no larger than a emoji, or can be a written letter detailing a major event in one’s life. Sometimes people are no longer present in your life. A suggested practice of gratitude is to write a letter thanking them for their positive influence on your life. While you may never be able to mail this letter, the act of writing it will directly benefit you.
You might set an alarm to call you to be grateful at random intervals throughout your day. When the alarm goes off, simply ask yourself: what am I grateful for, right now, this moment? If you notice that you’re having a thought that is resentful or complaining, try replacing that thought with one of gratefulness. For example, when caught in a traffic jam, replace the anxiety about being late to your next engagement with an observation about the seasonal beauty. After all, you might have missed that beautiful fall tree color if you’d been driving at the normal speed!
