It’s time to admit that you were hurt and truly feel these painful emotions you have been suppressing. If your ex broke your heart by cheating, admit to it. You might say, “I was heartbroken when Sasha cheated. It really made it hard for me to trust again. ”
For example, you think “Because my best friend neglected me when I most needed him, it’s best not to count on others. ” As a result, you never let anyone in or ask for help when you need it. Challenge this belief by asking yourself some questions: What evidence is there that makes this true? Is this belief always true? Am I considering the full picture about what happened? Does this belief promote happiness and well-being? Use these questions to attack the negative beliefs or assumptions you have built about others.
Write down in detail what happened to you and your reaction to the hurt. Then, write down the incident from the perspective of the other person who hurt you. Remember how they reacted and imagine how they must have felt. This helps you see the situation from a different perspective. Once you have fully released the event by writing it down on paper, destroy the paper. Toss it into a fire, tear it into tiny pieces, or bury it in the woods. This symbolizes an emotional release. What happened in the past no longer has a hold on you.
Be compassionate with yourself by extending forgiveness for your flaws and faults. Take ownership for your mistakes and refuse to hide them. Be gentle with yourself. Stop holding yourself to impossible standards. [4] X Research source Be compassionate with others by remembering that they are flawed and human, too. Accept and forgive freely—don’t hold grudges. Aim to see the best in people rather than dwelling on their faults. [5] X Research source
If you have trouble reconnecting with your inner child, spend some time hanging out with a small child. They will help you remember.
Ask a friend or family member what you can do for them. Say, “Is there anything I can do to make your day easier or better?” Similarly, if you are in need, have the courage to ask for help. Say, “I could really use another eye on this history paper. Do you mind looking at it once I’m done?” You might also give of your time or money to charities or local volunteer organizations.
Learn a new language. Sign up for a class as a total novice. Think of something you haven’t a clue of how to do and start reading on the subject. Put yourself out there and risk making a mistake. [8] X Research source
Try this 5-minute meditation: Sit comfortably in a place with no distractions. Take deep, cleansing breaths, in and out. Place a hand on your heart and the other on your belly. As you breathe in, imagine that you are pulling in all the good that the universe has to offer. As you breathe out, release any pain or worries you have been holding on to. [9] X Research source
If you don’t have anything immediate to cry about, purposely watch a movie or read an emotional story. As you cry, don’t judge or criticize yourself. Simply be present in the moment as the tears fall. Then, offer yourself comfort with something like “I’m with you” and gently caress your back and shoulders.
For instance, you might choose to tell a friend “It really hurt my feelings when you canceled our plans at the last minute. I was really looking forward to hanging out. ” If this mini-disclosure is met with acceptance and empathy, later, you might choose to share something more emotional like how you felt after a major loss in your life.
When you and a friend are laughing, lightly touch their arm. If a coworker is crying, rub their upper back to offer comfort. Greet a relative with a hug instead of a handshake (if you’ve never done this, it may be appropriate to ask first). Touch is a major form of communication; start using it in your relationships.
