When have I been at my happiest? When in my life have I been proud of myself? What did I do to make myself proud? What makes me feel satisfied or fulfilled? When in my life have I felt this way, and what was I doing then? What makes me feel happy, proud, and fulfilled at the same time?
You could say, “I’ve been feeling bad about eating meat for awhile because I think it’s wrong. I also know it’s hard to change, so I’m not going to keep feeling bad about it. ”
For example, you may ask your family to stop offering you meat dishes and to avoid pressuring you to eat meat. Alternatively, you may ask a friend who is vegetarian to remind you why you stopped eating meat whenever you feel tempted. You may also ask people who care about you to help hold you accountable when you feel tempted. For example, you could text them when you’re tempted, asking for reminders to stay on track.
Start with a small step toward your ideals. Even incremental change can help resolve the tension inside yourself. For example, if you believe that eating animals is wrong, you could stop eating meat. If this is hard, try going vegetarian for 1 day a week, then slowly increase the number of veg days. It takes 66 days for new behaviors to become a habit, so stick with it![9] X Research source
For example, you may find it hard to stop eating meat because you enjoy it. In this case, you may decide it’s a good idea to work on changing your beliefs.
If you refuse to confront potentially wrong beliefs, then they will hurt you in the long run. It’s better to work through them when you first encounter information that contradicts what you believe. Remind yourself that no one is perfect. You don’t have to be right all of the time. You may decide to change your beliefs when changing your actions is not successful.
For example, you may think that you need to lose weight but find it difficult to do so. Your conflict could be that you believe an extreme diet is necessary, yet continue to eat larger portions.
In the example above, you may think that you need to lose weight because you think it’s necessary to be accepted by others. Your diet may be hard to follow because the core belief is shaped by society, not you. Alternatively, you may decide that your diet is hard to follow because you have low energy on the diet, cannot enjoy shared meals with friends and family, and don’t want to give up your favorite foods.
As an example, you may learn more about weight loss, optimal weight, and healthy living if you’re worried about your weight. In some cases, people choose to resolve their cognitive dissonance by focusing only on evidence that supports their beliefs, even if it’s not from trusted sources. This is caused confirmation bias and often leads to poor decisions since you aren’t considering all of the facts. For example, you may believe that a particular herbal supplement can cure a condition, despite a lack of scientific proof. Reading only articles on blogs about the supposed benefits of the supplement will confirm your beliefs, even if they’re incorrect. Reading the science on the supplement will help you choose a better treatment. [15] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source
For example, you could focus on the positive aspects of eating more than your restrictive diet allows, such as having more energy, having a good time with friends or family, and enjoying the foods you love.
In the example above, you might embrace the body love campaign, as well as the idea of seizing the day. This will allow you to act on your desires to eat what you’d like and enjoy your time with friends without feeling bad about yourself. You can still acknowledge that society may encourage maintaining a low body weight. Think of your beliefs as balloons. Try to inflate the beliefs you want to take priority in your life, while the others slowly deflate. Some beliefs may never go away, but they won’t be as important in your life as others are.
For example, you may have a friend that constantly criticizes your food choices or puts you down. If they continue to act that way, you may decide to spend less time with them.
For example, you may have buried thoughts that you are not addressing. Your therapist can help you uncover these thoughts and work through them. You can find a therapist by visiting www. psychologytoday. com or searching online. Your healthcare provider may also be able to make a referral.
It’s a good idea to make more than one pro and con list, especially if you’re struggling with a decision. For example, you may need to choose between 2 different vacation destinations, such as an island getaway or a trip to Paris. You can only choose 1, and either would be amazing.
Let’s say that you decided to go to Paris because you found out a friend would be going at the same time. Rewriting your pro and con list to highlight the pros of Paris will help you avoid the conflict of choosing not to go on the island vacation. In this case, you might add that you will get to spend time with your friend to the pros list.
For example, you might add that the island getaway could result in sunburn, might be ruined by tropical weather, and could get lonely without a friend around. This is called “spreading” your alternatives. In effect, you are making your chosen alternative more appealing than the other option(s), which reduces your desire to question the choice. [22] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source
For example, you could tell a friend about your decision to go to Paris, highlighting the opportunity to make memories with your friend, finally see a city you’ve always dreamed of visiting, and avoiding the dangers of a tropical disturbance.
Keep your focus on the actions you’re taking rather than ruminating on your decisions. If you do find yourself feeling discomfort or regret, work through the pro and con activity again to remind yourself that the alternative you chose is the right one. There’s no point in entertaining the choice you didn’t make, as you can’t go back in time. Instead, focus on the next decision you have to make.
