Learn to admit the mistake, and apologize/rectify when you’re wrong. Simply say, “I apologize; that was my mistake. ” Doing so will help you retain relationships and may even benefit your personal growth.
Instead of jumping to defensiveness, pause. Don’t follow your instincts, which are to defend. Take a few deep breaths. Agree—to a degree—by saying “Yes, and…” This is preferable to “Yes, but,” which comes off as defensive. Then, try to work with the other person to brainstorm an effective solution that doesn’t jeopardize the relationship. [3] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Do your best to develop a curious attitude and to take in others’ points of view. Work on accepting criticism as a learning experience. Taking things personally makes it difficult to reflect and improve.
You can activate mindfulness during times when your pride is in control. For example, you feel threatened by a coworker who is doing outstanding work. You might slow down and tune into your thoughts and feelings. Remember that you don’t have to see others’ success as a threat. Think of ways you can learn from the person instead. It can help to celebrate the success of others.
Identify one thing you would like to learn or do, and make a plan to get started within the next week. Don’t overthink it, just do it. As you engage in this challenging activity, focus on how you feel to be defying your self-consciousness. Refrain from giving any thought to others’ opinions or judgments. If you make a mistake, embrace it as a part of your development. It is normal and natural to make mistakes.
To start, ask a few friends or colleague to give an honest list of three traits they admire about you and then three traits where you might need to do some work. Don’t defend. Say, “Thank you,” and see how you can use their suggestions for your personal growth.
Acknowledge your current beliefs but learn to question them. This will help you grow.
For instance, you’re in class and the professor asks you a question. Your typical reaction when you don’t know something might be to become defensive. Instead you might say, “I’m not sure. Can you help me understand?”
This doesn’t have to be some big revelation. You can start small. The next time you hear someone else being vulnerable—say someone says “Oh, how I have trouble resisting sweets!”—if you can relate to them, say so. Don’t hold yourself back from developing deeper connections in an effort to appear perfect. [9] X Research source Vulnerability takes courage but will get easier the more you practice.
Even if someone approaches you with a far-out idea, show them the respect of listening. Who knows, perhaps half-way through their spiel, you might start to see the genius of their plan.
For instance, if you notice that a friend appears to be really good at writing, say so. Say, “Wow, I always thought I was the writer of the bunch, but you got some skills, Terry. This is awesome!” Lifting up others also helps you lift yourself as you develop more fully as a person.
Take baby steps by asking others to help you when you are in need. This could be as simple as asking someone ahead of you to hold the door or telling a friend you could use a listening ear. Notice how receptive people are to your requests—people like to help out!
The next time you see someone struggling, offer them a hand. Ask your coworker, partner, or friend, “Is there anything I can do to make your day better?” You can also serve by volunteering your time in the local community.
