Say, “Thank you for being open and honest with me about your identity. I want you to always feel comfortable talking to me. ” Keep in mind that your child has thought about this enough that they feel ready to talk about it. This is a big risk for them, and shutting them down might make them feel like they have to keep secrets from you.
Say, “I love you so much. You’re always going to be my baby, and I’m here for you anytime you need me. ”
You might want your child to hide their trans identity because you think life will be easier for them. However, hiding their identity is much more painful than dealing with the obstacles of being trans. In fact, trans youth who are accepted and able to live openly as their true gender typically have fewer mental health issues than those who have to hide their identity. [4] X Research source
Your child will always be a part of your family and will love you the same. The best thing you can do for your relationship is to keep giving them your love and support.
When you call your child by their old name, it’s called “deadnaming” them. This is very painful, so don’t do it.
Teach your child about being assertive and asking for help when they need it. Make sure your child knows that they’re not to blame for bullying. Help them understand that it’s always the bully’s fault, and they shouldn’t have to change who they are to accommodate someone else.
For instance, don’t call your child’s school to tell them your child is trans unless your child asks you to do so.
Don’t assume that your child will have anxiety and depression just because they’re trans. Signs of anxiety include being restless, trembling, breathing rapidly, feeling tired, having trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, having stomach issues, feeling constantly worried, or avoiding their stressors. [11] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Signs of depression include sadness, hopelessness, anger, irritability, loss of interest, trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, anxiety, agitation, reduced or excessive appetite, feeling worthless, trouble thinking, and physical symptoms. [12] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Say, “That print looks great on you! I love seeing you so happy. ” If money is an issue, visit thrift shops, garage sales, and clearance racks to look for nice clothes at discount prices.
Make this a fun experience so your child knows that you’re supportive of their identity.
Puberty blockers won’t change your child’s biological sex. They only prevent your child from developing the adult physical traits of their biological sex, like breasts for women or a deep voice for men.
Don’t make assumptions about what your child wants to wear or do. For example, your trans daughter may still prefer pants over dresses even though she’s told you she’s a girl. Everyone is unique, so your child will have their own idea about what being trans will mean to them.
For now, place these photos in a box or computer file for safe-keeping.
If you can, see a therapist who has experience with gender-identity issues. Ask your doctor for a referral or search for a therapist online. Your therapy appointments may be covered by insurance, so check your benefits.
Look for support groups online. You may even find a group that meets locally in your area. If you’re attending therapy, ask your therapist about support groups in your area.
In time, some people will come around and become more supportive. Try not to give up hope.
For example, you might think of dresses and barbies as things that belong to a girl. These are gender norms.
