“Thanks for telling me that. ” “Oh, I thought I was cool. ” “So what’s your point?” Try to keep a sincere tone of voice instead of a sarcastic or angry tone, as this might display your irritation and perpetuate the teasing.
A shaky voice is also an indicator that the teasing has worked to upset you.
Make sure that your posture is assertive. Stand with your feet firmly planted on the ground, your arms hanging down at your sides, and your hands relaxed. Maintain eye contact with the bully and keep your face relaxed. You might even want to smile a little, since this demonstrates assertiveness. [4] X Research source Try power posing for extra confidence. Standing in a powerful position can increase your sense of well-being and confidence for a short period of time. [5] X Research source For example, you can try standing like a superhero with your hands on your hips, legs shoulder width apart, chest out, and chin up. Stay in this position for a minute or two.
Avoid responding directly to what the bully has to say. Instead, try saying something to show your lack of interest or concern. For example, you could say something like, “Are you done talking? I haven’t really been paying attention. ” Or, “Your life must be pretty lame since you are always so interested in mine. ”[7] X Research source Try to avoid starting a teasing cycle. It can be tempting to fight back by teasing a bully the same way they are teasing you, but it is likely that such an action will backfire on you because it shows that you’re irritated. Showing any kind of emotional reaction to teasing usually makes the teaser want to do it more.
The best way to appear calm through a teasing session is to choose to believe that their teasing doesn’t bother you. This way, if you answer a direct question or use a one-liner, your voice is strong and sincere instead of angry or sarcastic. Say to yourself, “It’s all right if they tease me because it doesn’t bother me at all. ” Choose to believe this mantra, and it will show.
Using humor can diffuse tense situations. If you show the bully how things can be funny instead of hurtful to you, they might start to leave you alone. [9] X Research source
Act like you meant to walk away anyway.
Respond with a joke like, “What games do tornadoes like best? Twister!”[10] X Research source Say a comment about something else, like an event or the weather.
If you don’t solve this teasing situation yourself, it can get worse. Having someone else confront a bully on your behalf can show that it bothered you just as much as crying or getting angry in the moment.
If someone is teasing you because they like you, it’s still a game, but not reacting won’t make them stop—rather, it might help them to confess their feelings of attraction and be honest with you.
Ask around about your bully’s background and see if there isn’t something sad about their life. Having compassion for your bully is also a way to stop letting teasing get to you.
